Success is Sometimes Invisible

I know and talk a lot about the fact that I have low confidence – I am aware that it is a challenge that could become a limiter if I allow it to.  I rarely feel that my successes are good enough, long lasting enough, or as extensive as I wish they were.  But I had a really great experience yesterday that gave me a real boost.

I have a number of great current and former supervisors who were willing to write me letters of recommendation.  I spent yesterday morning visiting with them and dropping off paperwork.  I learned that at each of my practicum sites, at least one of my projects has had positive effects beyond my time at the school.  The orientation tour at the high school is still going strong – my host librarian said it was a big success.  Everyone including teachers, students and administration loved it, and it seems to work well.  Given how much work went into it, you can imagine how great that made me feel.  At the elementary, I learned that the Storybird lesson that Bernadette and I initiated with the kids got some of them so excited that they have actually started working on their projects outside of library time.  How cool is that?

I think that having a consistent environment and the opportunity for sustained reflective practice will tend to increase my confidence.  Right now I’m still anxious about getting a job and doing well in it, but I realize that I have been successful in the past, and that in a permanent position I would have the opportunity to follow up and grow on those successes.  I know that once I get through the hoops of school and applications and find my way into a library, the process of building a program, helping kids and growing as an educator will be a gratifying process.  It was just really nice to get a taste of that as a student. 🙂

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