Two years sounds like a long time, but it’s really not. I’m freaked out that this semester is almost over. It’s gone by in a blink. On the one hand I’m looking forward to getting into the meat of the program, but I find myself panicking at time slipping by. I’m contemplating next semester. I’m glad that many of the people I’ve gotten to know will be in my one on-campus class with me. My online classes sound interesting and fun, and I’ll be starting fieldwork for school media. I’m still working at the library, and I’m getting more involved in running the teen program there. And Meg Backus is teaching a class that sounds really exciting.
What worries me is the time situation. It’s hard to figure out exactly what is the tipping point – would I be okay if I skipped Meg’s class and just kept up with the flow of ideas from classmates? Or is fieldwork on top of three classes on top of work already insanity? Is it so insane that I might as well just take the fourth class since I won’t be sleeping anyway?
I know that a schedule like this can be managed with organization and discretion. However, those are not my strong points. (I know, a disorganized librarian, awful.) Organization…what can I say. I at least keep a running to-do list, but my physical and psychic space is in a constant state of chaos. As far as discretion, I’ve come to this place with the mindset that I am going to exploit every opportunity and be my best self and make friends dammit! So the only real limitation I’ve placed on myself is my work schedule. Most things that don’t conflict with it, I try to say yes to. Maybe that will have to change, but I have very little experience in the space between being social and being a recluse. Add to this the consideration that my classmates are fellow librarians and hanging out with them frequently leads to really interesting and inspiring discussions.
All things to ponder. I’m still trying to find that balance between having a life (and to be clear, I don’t mean partying, but rather doing dishes and feeding my turtles and grocery shopping) and being the best librarian I can be. Is there a point where you just have to acknowledge that there’s not going to be any balance in these next few years and just go all in?
Anyway. The universe has forced my hand, and I will be grocery shopping tonight. I ran out of sugar for my damn coffee.